Monday, March 3, 2014

A Belated Farewell

Well hello there blogosphere!  It's great to see you again!  It has been a while since we've last spoken (over a year actually), and so it wouldn't surprise me if this post ends up being broadcast to an empty audience, but lately I've been feeling the urge to get something off my chest....

It may seem random that I'm publishing this write-up after all this time, but that's kind of the point.  Every once in a while I'll revisit Audio Splash and scroll through the archive for a variety of reasons; sometimes it's to pull up a piece of writing I liked so I can send it off to a potential employer, other times it's to refresh my memory on some of my favorite bands that I followed, but often it's to remind myself of what I am capable of creating when I have a passion and put my mind towards something.  I started Audio Splash when I was 19 years old without any knowledge of blogging or coding, why? Simply because I loved writing and I loved music.  It may never have looked professional, and it may have had its fair share of difficulties adapting to a fast-changing social landscape, but for nearly three-and-a-half years I found myself invigorated, teeming with the self-motivation and energy to write about music everyday and do my best to introduce the best musical content to my readers.  No, it never did reach Hillydilly or Indie Shuffle status, but the fact that I carved out my own little niche, had dozens of bands e-mailing me for recognition, and developed friendships with emerging, talented musicians gives me a sense of pride.  The fact that I played my own little part in promoting their story makes me incredibly happy.

I loved managing Audio Splash, I really did.  The excitement, the creation, the sense of community, the feeling of having power over something that was mine, the sense of being apart of something bigger than was infectious.  So if that's the case, then where is Audio Splash now?

Well, that's why I am writing this post.  Whenever I happen to stop by Audio Splash I see an open-ended entity, a publication that was either dropped suddenly or given up on. The lack of care that was put into wrapping up a project that was so important in my life nauseates me.  For whatever it's worth I feel like I owe an explanation for why I stopped, and on a personal level, I've realized I desire closure.

The truth is, when I graduated college I left for a gap year on a soul-searching trip to try and figure out who I was and what my true ambitions were.  I first fulfilled my lifelong dream of doing a ski winter, an aspiration I've held since middle school, and moved out to Park City to work at The Canyons Mountain Resort.  While there, my friend told me of an employment opportunity in Peru that seemed right up my alley, which I applied to and luckily got the job.  I stayed in South America for a month after to backpack around Peru, Bolivia, and Chile in what would be my first solo journey.

I don't regret a single second of it.  I learned more than I ever could've dreamed of over the course of those seven months, and I've never felt more alive than I did then.  I needed it.  I needed the chance to explore, to open my eyes to this stunning planet and grant myself the unique experience of becoming a more understanding, well-rounded individual.  I needed to foster and cultivate my personal growth.

The sacrifice, of course, was Audio Splash.  I needed to work two full-time jobs as a ski bum to afford my outrageous rent in Park City, and so the very little time I had to devote to Audio Splash severely cut my availability to write, thus reducing the quality.  I couldn't keep up with it the way I wanted to, and as the character of my posts started deteriorating, I began to lose satisfaction in what I had created.  The time that I had always worried would eventually come finally caught up with me, and I came to the painful conclusion that it was time to end it.

Why didn't I say goodbye?  Why didn't I have the class to bid farewell and exit gracefully? The honest answer is that I'm not entirely sure.  I don't think I wanted to believe that it was actually over, that I had given up on my brainchild and abandoned my mission.  I wanted to believe that I could start it up again and continue doing what I loved.  I always told myself I would bring it back, but that I would do it right and make the improvements I felt Audio Splash deserved.  When I returned from South America after a few months, though, I had fallen out of routine.  Having spent a long time out of the blogosphere, the world that once felt like home and gave me solace had become alien. I felt lost, and that scared me.  As saddened as I was, the reality set in: Audio Splash as I knew it was over.

So here I am, unleashing an outpour of emotion and putting an official lid on a chapter that should've been sealed away a little more than a year ago.  I still miss it, oh boy do I miss it.  I would love to start up another music blog and take the lessons that I learned here and apply them to something new.  In fact, I just might do that, because I long for the feeling I achieved doing what I did.  Before I do that, though, parting ways and saying adieu with this Audio Splash is a necessary step.

With that said, I wanted to say thank you.  I could never have maintained the blog for as long as I did, and with the passion that I did, if it wasn't for all of you.  Without your support I don't think I ever would've had the motivation to march forward and deliver the content that I did.  It was a wild ride, and if you enjoyed it even as much as a sliver of the amount I did, then I can lay this to rest graciously and joyously.  If I ever do start another blog, then I hope to see you there for the next adventure.

Thanks again.  Seriously.  It means so much to me.  If it wasn't for all of you to keep me going, I never would've discovered this area of interest that gave me so much delight.  I would be a different person without it.  Thank you for giving me a medium of expression, a place where I could be myself.  I will forever be able to look back at Audio Splash as my creation, something that was mine, something that makes me so proud to reflect on.

For that, I will always be grateful.  Thank you.